








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 611 | 18% |
| Smokes | 937 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 952 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 888 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $355,180 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uviete | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Appollo | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | donkfingus | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | lolzman1984 | 56% | 45 |
| #5 | cayk | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uviete | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Appollo | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | donkfingus | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | lolzman1984 | 56% | 45 |
| #5 | cayk | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donkfingus | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Appollo | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | cayk | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | lolzman1984 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lolzman1984 | 177 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Appollo | 95 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | donkfingus | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | cayk | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | uviete | 25 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lolzman1984 | +1.75 | 64 | 69 |
| #2 | donkfingus | +0.90 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | Shockwve | +0.42 | 69 | 61 |
| #4 | Appollo | +0.02 | 72 | 65 |
| #5 | uviete | -0.32 | 75 | 63 |





