








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




138 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,837 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2876 | 16% |
| Smokes | 7865 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 4440 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2656 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,560,056 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fifi | 59% | 96 |
| #2 | Ringthaw | 59% | 221 |
| #3 | Crashys | 58% | 269 |
| #4 | SirDub (Do Not Commend Me) | 43% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fifi | 59% | 96 |
| #2 | Ringthaw | 59% | 221 |
| #3 | Crashys | 58% | 269 |
| #4 | SirDub (Do Not Commend Me) | 43% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crashys | 25 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Ringthaw | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | SirDub (Do Not Commend Me) | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | fifi | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ringthaw | 1047 | 0.24 | 21 min |
| #2 | fifi | 429 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | Crashys | 308 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | SirDub (Do Not Commend Me) | 159 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ringthaw | +3.70 | 82 | 52 |
| #2 | Verne | +2.82 | 71 | 42 |
| #3 | Crashys | +1.23 | 58 | 48 |
| #4 | SirDub (Do Not Commend Me) | +0.97 | 31 | 67 |
| #5 | fifi | -4.65 | 11 | 50 |





