








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 909 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 430 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6354 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8157 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6580 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6643 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,631,018 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 519 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | puffeli | 46% | 83 |
| #10 | Nugetti | 45% | 157 |
| #11 | sandexd | 44% | 45 |
| #12 | Allu | 44% | 117 |
| #13 | ᵉᵗᵗᵃ | 42% | 302 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵉᵗᵗᵃ | 34 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | B1nQ | 18 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Allu | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Nugetti | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | JereZ | 7 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B1nQ | 1287 | 0.29 | 37 min |
| #2 | ᵉᵗᵗᵃ | 542 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | Seina | 536 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #4 | JereZ | 329 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #5 | Allu | 259 | 0.11 | 7 min |





