










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,950 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 792 | 20% |
| Smokes | 865 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1396 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 897 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $987,094 of utility $269 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★LXIX★ | 59% | 59 |
| #2 | floob | 53% | 125 |
| #3 | BigPapaStin | 53% | 127 |
| #4 | Pistol Rampager | 51% | 84 |
| #5 | toky0 | 49% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★LXIX★ | 59% | 59 |
| #2 | floob | 53% | 125 |
| #3 | BigPapaStin | 53% | 127 |
| #4 | Pistol Rampager | 51% | 84 |
| #5 | toky0 | 49% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★LXIX★ | 9 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | floob | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | toky0 | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | BigPapaStin | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Pistol Rampager | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toky0 | 530 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | floob | 426 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | BigPapaStin | 88 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pistol Rampager | 68 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | ★LXIX★ | 62 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★LXIX★ | +4.07 | 80 | 47 |
| #2 | toky0 | +1.15 | 68 | 75 |
| #3 | floob | +0.58 | 61 | 53 |
| #4 | BigPapaStin | -0.35 | 65 | 45 |
| #5 | Charlie Dompler | -1.02 | 54 | 51 |





