










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,976 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 618 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1323 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1691 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1344 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $988,884 of utility $243 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charlie Dompler | 53% | 127 |
| #2 | floob | 48% | 152 |
| #3 | ★LXIX★ | 48% | 75 |
| #4 | toky0 | 47% | 128 |
| #5 | Pistol Rampager | 43% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charlie Dompler | 53% | 127 |
| #2 | floob | 48% | 152 |
| #3 | ★LXIX★ | 48% | 75 |
| #4 | toky0 | 47% | 128 |
| #5 | Pistol Rampager | 43% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★LXIX★ | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | floob | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | toky0 | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Charlie Dompler | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Pistol Rampager | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toky0 | 630 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #2 | floob | 489 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | Charlie Dompler | 163 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | ★LXIX★ | 71 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pistol Rampager | 54 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★LXIX★ | +3.29 | 77 | 38 |
| #2 | toky0 | +1.14 | 71 | 77 |
| #3 | floob | +0.25 | 57 | 55 |
| #4 | BigPapaStin | -0.40 | 65 | 43 |
| #5 | Charlie Dompler | -1.24 | 52 | 52 |





