








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 419 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 142 matches | ||
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1969 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2817 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2076 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3117 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,008,496 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 197 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zehnur | 59% | 46 |
| #2 | SAD! | 57% | 61 |
| #3 | bard | 57% | 292 |
| #4 | JJ | 55% | 66 |
| #5 | Churro | 54% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bard | 57% | 292 |
| #4 | JJ | 55% | 66 |
| #5 | Churro | 54% | 70 |
| #6 | Twitter dashDevv | 48% | 21 |
| #7 | macx | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Churro | 10 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | bard | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | macx | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | SAD! | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | zehnur | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bard | 841 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | Churro | 204 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | JJ | 163 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | zehnur | 138 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | SAD! | 133 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bard | +3.13 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | JJ | +2.25 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | Twitter dashDevv | +1.71 | 88 | 71 |
| #4 | zehnur | -0.00 | 61 | 64 |
| #5 | SAD! | -0.72 | 49 | 58 |





