








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 753 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 268 matches | ||
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4961 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3554 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4502 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4205 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4514 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,074,765 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1370 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAD! | 61% | 61 |
| #2 | zehnur | 60% | 50 |
| #3 | bard | 56% | 124 |
| #4 | Fr0ger | 55% | 66 |
| #5 | Twitter dashDevv | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAD! | 61% | 61 |
| #2 | zehnur | 60% | 50 |
| #3 | bard | 56% | 124 |
| #4 | Fr0ger | 55% | 66 |
| #5 | Twitter dashDevv | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bard | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Fr0ger | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | SAD! | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bard | 638 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #2 | Fr0ger | 172 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Twitter dashDevv | 170 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #4 | zehnur | 160 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | SAD! | 145 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JJ | +1.41 | 64 | 60 |
| #2 | Twitter dashDevv | +0.63 | 84 | 70 |
| #3 | bard | +0.63 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | zehnur | -0.01 | 59 | 64 |
| #5 | SAD! | -1.21 | 49 | 61 |





