








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2589 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,402 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 727 | 10% |
| Smokes | 3132 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1598 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1945 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $964,045 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 474 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solo | 64% | 77 |
| #2 | Frud | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | hoopla | 52% | 95 |
| #4 | maikki | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solo | 64% | 77 |
| #2 | Frud | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | hoopla | 52% | 95 |
| #4 | maikki | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hoopla | 32 | 0.0201 |
| #2 | solo | 12 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Frud | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hoopla | 286 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | solo | 153 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | maikki | 48 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Frud | 42 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Horchata Papi | +2.43 | 56 | 42 |
| #2 | hoopla | +1.59 | 72 | 40 |
| #3 | solo | -0.02 | 72 | 41 |
| #4 | maikki | -0.79 | 62 | 71 |
| #5 | Frud | -1.36 | 32 | 55 |





