








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
468 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 276 | 23% |
| Smokes | 341 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 332 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 254 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $144,979 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | 9 | 0.0289 |
| #2 | Rhystart | 6 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | Monkey Mæn | 5 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | Hernando Gonzalez | 5 | 0.0321 |
| #5 | Lt. Dee Snuts | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lt. Dee Snuts | 99 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Rhystart | 97 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | 56 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Billy | 42 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Monkey Mæn | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rhystart | +3.18 | 74 | 59 |
| #2 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | +2.64 | 69 | 40 |
| #3 | Hernando Gonzalez | +1.71 | 65 | 42 |
| #4 | vanilly manilly | -1.04 | 72 | 41 |
| #5 | Billy | -1.80 | 82 | 36 |





