








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
794 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1233 | 32% |
| Smokes | 832 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1011 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 741 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $133,250 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 305 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2008 Honda Civic | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Scoochert | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | That Sucks | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Will | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Notably | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2008 Honda Civic | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Scoochert | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | That Sucks | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Will | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Notably | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2008 Honda Civic | 11 | 0.0365 |
| #2 | That Sucks | 5 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | Will | 4 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | Scoochert | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Will | 141 | 0.39 | 4 min |
| #2 | 2008 Honda Civic | 85 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #3 | Scoochert | 32 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | That Sucks | 19 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Notably | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2008 Honda Civic | +4.49 | 66 | 61 |
| #2 | Notably | +3.34 | 68 | 66 |
| #3 | 💜Jasmine💚 | +1.84 | 56 | 79 |
| #4 | Will | +0.31 | 42 | 77 |
| #5 | Scoochert | -0.70 | 52 | 52 |





