








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1464 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 526 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




187 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8609 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7767 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7371 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7276 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5244 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,507,968 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scoochert | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | Tip | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | ジLil Chris҉ ™⭕⃤☁Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | Yaerthe | 57% | 42 |
| #5 | Allig8er | 57% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | That Sucks | 50% | 144 |
| #10 | Notably | 50% | 264 |
| #11 | Will | 50% | 189 |
| #12 | what do? | 38% | 37 |
| #13 | *DEAD* 啲字係屎 | 35% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Will | 51 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | That Sucks | 33 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | Allig8er | 13 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | Notably | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | tmoe | 9 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Will | 1341 | 0.35 | 37 min |
| #2 | tmoe | 368 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #3 | Notably | 208 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #4 | Tip | 207 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #5 | MAGA Isaku:))) | 186 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2008 Honda Civic | +4.05 | 71 | 63 |
| #2 | ジLil Chris҉ ™⭕⃤☁Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ | +2.80 | 68 | 56 |
| #3 | MAGA Isaku:))) | +1.91 | 70 | 49 |
| #4 | Yaerthe | +1.60 | 67 | 47 |
| #5 | Tip | +1.44 | 59 | 61 |





