








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2384 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1220 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2552 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 913 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1081 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,109,351 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 691 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 💜Jasmine💚 | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | Tim | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | 2008 Honda Civic | 50% | 144 |
| #4 | Notably | 46% | 184 |
| #5 | Allig8er | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2008 Honda Civic | 67 | 0.0231 |
| #2 | Will | 38 | 0.0183 |
| #3 | Tim | 11 | 0.0220 |
| #4 | Notably | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | 💜Jasmine💚 | 8 | 0.0202 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Will | 730 | 0.35 | 18 min |
| #2 | 2008 Honda Civic | 640 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #3 | what do? | 179 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | tmoe | 152 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | Notably | 139 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2008 Honda Civic | +5.92 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | Tim | +5.36 | 71 | 64 |
| #3 | 💜Jasmine💚 | +2.80 | 61 | 76 |
| #4 | Notably | +0.98 | 60 | 57 |
| #5 | Will | -0.45 | 48 | 82 |





