








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2851 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 274 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 203 matches | ||
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Wingman | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 115 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




202 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 61,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 28248 | 46% |
| Smokes | 15644 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7975 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 9288 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,450,431 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2021 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fear | 77% | 382 |
| #2 | αя1ѕє | 75% | 219 |
| #3 | h2o | 74% | 657 |
| #4 | ar1se | 71% | 699 |
| #5 | glaccup | 70% | 921 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glaccup | 59 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | ar1se | 56 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | fear | 45 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | αя1ѕє | 41 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | h2o | 32 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glaccup | 4487 | 0.27 | 100 min |
| #2 | h2o | 1627 | 0.13 | 34 min |
| #3 | ar1se | 1143 | 0.09 | 28 min |
| #4 | bAdbuoy | 1018 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #5 | αя1ѕє | 370 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fear | +2.94 | 71 | 34 |
| #2 | h2o | +2.80 | 78 | 51 |
| #3 | bAdbuoy | +2.55 | 71 | 54 |
| #4 | hiccup | +2.47 | 65 | 71 |
| #5 | αя1ѕє | +1.27 | 62 | 49 |





