








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 950 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 473 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8231 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2862 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5045 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2949 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3228 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,737,713 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 568 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [HGC]jni | 50% | 62 |
| #2 | $LET’S GO BABY$ ASZISZ | 48% | 44 |
| #3 | [HGC] Бенсе | 48% | 122 |
| #4 | [HGC] Áky™ | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | [HGC] Νιζψs | 47% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | [HGC]Hellboy | 40% | 57 |
| #13 | Groot | 40% | 168 |
| #14 | [HGC] D4n1 | 39% | 84 |
| #15 | [HGC] retro | 39% | 216 |
| #16 | [HGC] IdegBajos :D | 38% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [HGC] retro | 18 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Madzsi | 17 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | [HGC] Νιζψs | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | [HGC] D4n1 | 10 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Groot | 7 | 0.0021 |





