








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1646 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,021 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 988 | 25% |
| Smokes | 679 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1326 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1028 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,589 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 478 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dougzie | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | ( ^◡^)っ✂ ∪ | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | kirito | 52% | 93 |
| #4 | Aus_33 | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dougzie | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | ( ^◡^)っ✂ ∪ | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | kirito | 52% | 93 |
| #4 | Aus_33 | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kirito | 16 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | Dougzie | 4 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | ( ^◡^)っ✂ ∪ | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kirito | 368 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | Aus_33 | 88 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | Dougzie | 59 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | ( ^◡^)っ✂ ∪ | 8 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dougzie | +3.19 | 92 | 51 |
| #2 | kirito | +2.32 | 73 | 66 |
| #3 | Aus_33 | +1.81 | 75 | 81 |
| #4 | ( ^◡^)っ✂ ∪ | +0.36 | 65 | 36 |
| #5 | Clive Palmer | -0.02 | 79 | 51 |





