








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 470 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 290 matches | ||
| Faceit | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




136 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8959 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4224 | 20% |
| Smokes | 7428 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3562 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5685 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,834,818 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 692 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrimZM | 74% | 103 |
| #2 | Uncle mETH | 74% | 91 |
| #3 | Nang Dogg | 63% | 342 |
| #4 | Bossman | 56% | 99 |
| #5 | Kimbab | 54% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Uncle mETH | 74% | 91 |
| #3 | Nang Dogg | 63% | 342 |
| #4 | Bossman | 56% | 99 |
| #5 | Kimbab | 54% | 67 |
| #6 | sharkyxy | 50% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle mETH | 32 | 0.0174 |
| #2 | CrimZM | 26 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | Bossman | 21 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | Nang Dogg | 13 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Kimbab | 8 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nang Dogg | 815 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | CrimZM | 518 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #3 | Kimbab | 291 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | sharkyxy | 242 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Bossman | 189 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrimZM | +7.48 | 89 | 67 |
| #2 | Uncle mETH | +4.05 | 81 | 49 |
| #3 | Kimbab | +2.60 | 68 | 63 |
| #4 | sharkyxy | +2.38 | 87 | 62 |
| #5 | Nang Dogg | +0.41 | 68 | 51 |





