








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1754 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1030 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2634 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2559 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2185 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $671,426 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeChill | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Martillo Pilón | 57% | 80 |
| #3 | <?php?> | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | polfrankon | 52% | 139 |
| #5 | ioanaBlue | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Zenemij | 41% | 51 |
| #12 | joseyyo | 34% | 38 |
| #13 | Liblan | 25% | 12 |
| #14 | PirindoloMental | 25% | 16 |
| #15 | JΦλφμιη | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LagazoMental | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | joseyyo | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | ᴄᴀᴍʙʀᴏɴɪᴅᴀs ♿ | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Godino #foreverRiders | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | JΦλφμιη | 2 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThorTicollis | 162 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Martillo Pilón | 135 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Godino #foreverRiders | 130 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Zenemij | 110 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | LagazoMental | 106 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PirindoloMental | +1.66 | 53 | 79 |
| #2 | Godino #foreverRiders | +1.62 | 59 | 67 |
| #3 | LagazoMental | +0.99 | 59 | 75 |
| #4 | <?php?> | +0.98 | 61 | 78 |
| #5 | ThorTicollis | +0.62 | 64 | 69 |





