








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 465 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 471 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5348 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,429 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6035 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7090 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6289 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6015 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,650,273 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Zenemij | 48% | 61 |
| #11 | morto | 46% | 41 |
| #12 | ᴄᴀᴍʙʀᴏɴɪᴅᴀs ♿ | 46% | 39 |
| #13 | Adriag4 | 42% | 59 |
| #14 | BroKiSs | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Martillo Pilón | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | ThorTicollis | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | JΦλφμιη | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | joseyyo | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | polfrankon | 4 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThorTicollis | 586 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #2 | Martillo Pilón | 525 | 0.07 | 15 min |
| #3 | JΦλφμιη | 428 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #4 | Godino #foreverRiders | 331 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | morto | 185 | 0.20 | 4 min |





