








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
527 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 455 | 25% |
| Smokes | 471 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 387 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 501 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $228,416 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sutiseppo | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | TZAGE | 51% | 43 |
| #3 | Aquilon | 51% | 43 |
| #4 | Keijo | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | pedro | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Ralliankkuri | 44% | 9 |
| #10 | qoose | 44% | 16 |
| #11 | EELIBOIII | 43% | 7 |
| #12 | Woze | 40% | 5 |
| #13 | mane | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TZAGE | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | jompu | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | sutiseppo | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Aquilon | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aquilon | 232 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #2 | TZAGE | 148 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | jompu | 136 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | sutiseppo | 87 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Joona | 71 | 0.21 | 2 min |





