








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 402 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2095 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1394 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1447 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1038 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $359,615 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sutiseppo | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | TZAGE | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | jompu | 55% | 47 |
| #4 | laku | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | qoose | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | qoose | 50% | 20 |
| #6 | Joona | 45% | 29 |
| #7 | Woze | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | Ralliankkuri | 42% | 12 |
| #9 | mane | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jompu | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | TZAGE | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | sutiseppo | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jompu | 172 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | TZAGE | 133 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Joona | 105 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | laku | 96 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | qoose | 55 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jompu | +3.66 | 76 | 60 |
| #2 | Aquilon | +0.38 | 64 | 75 |
| #3 | TZAGE | +0.21 | 65 | 67 |
| #4 | laku | +0.04 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | Ralliankkuri | -0.22 | 74 | 57 |





