








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1428 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 909 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 106 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,138 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8668 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7915 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8679 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 8876 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,678,791 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1948 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | manu. | 54% | 738 |
| #2 | ♿ Kantenbasis ♿ | 53% | 105 |
| #3 | Mephistoph3les | 53% | 686 |
| #4 | wpatw | 52% | 627 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | manu. | 54% | 738 |
| #2 | ♿ Kantenbasis ♿ | 53% | 105 |
| #3 | Mephistoph3les | 53% | 686 |
| #4 | wpatw | 52% | 627 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mephistoph3les | 157 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | manu. | 109 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | wpatw | 49 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | ♿ Kantenbasis ♿ | 7 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | manu. | 4198 | 0.27 | 123 min |
| #2 | Mephistoph3les | 2680 | 0.19 | 62 min |
| #3 | wpatw | 1677 | 0.12 | 44 min |
| #4 | ♿ Kantenbasis ♿ | 198 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wpatw | +1.43 | 74 | 63 |
| #2 | manu. | +0.53 | 60 | 74 |
| #3 | VinceTheJinx | +0.24 | 66 | 66 |
| #4 | Mephistoph3les | -1.36 | 75 | 56 |
| #5 | ♿ Kantenbasis ♿ | -2.39 | 61 | 59 |





