








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 814 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




196 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9517 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,711 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9243 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6777 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7097 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5594 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,819,586 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1898 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ Kantenbasis ♿ | 58% | 91 |
| #2 | manu. | 54% | 511 |
| #3 | wpatw | 53% | 522 |
| #4 | VinceTheJinx | 53% | 686 |
| #5 | why always me? | 46% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | manu. | 54% | 511 |
| #3 | wpatw | 53% | 522 |
| #4 | VinceTheJinx | 53% | 686 |
| #5 | why always me? | 46% | 82 |
| #6 | KanjiSZN | 42% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | manu. | 98 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | VinceTheJinx | 44 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | wpatw | 43 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | KanjiSZN | 10 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | ♿ Kantenbasis ♿ | 8 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | manu. | 3119 | 0.29 | 90 min |
| #2 | VinceTheJinx | 2130 | 0.15 | 66 min |
| #3 | wpatw | 1512 | 0.13 | 39 min |
| #4 | ♿ Kantenbasis ♿ | 179 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | why always me? | 132 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | why always me? | +1.70 | 83 | 59 |
| #2 | wpatw | +1.43 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | manu. | +0.81 | 60 | 73 |
| #4 | VinceTheJinx | +0.49 | 66 | 66 |
| #5 | Mephistoph3les | -1.01 | 76 | 56 |





