








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1294 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 635 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,041 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5428 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3437 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 8686 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 7490 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,295,215 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 742 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ Kantenbasis ♿ | 54% | 100 |
| #2 | manu. | 54% | 514 |
| #3 | Mephistoph3les | 53% | 522 |
| #4 | VinceTheJinx | 52% | 627 |
| #5 | Finn Germyass | 46% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ Kantenbasis ♿ | 54% | 100 |
| #2 | manu. | 54% | 514 |
| #3 | Mephistoph3les | 53% | 522 |
| #4 | VinceTheJinx | 52% | 627 |
| #5 | Finn Germyass | 46% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mephistoph3les | 145 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | manu. | 99 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | VinceTheJinx | 43 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | ♿ Kantenbasis ♿ | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Finn Germyass | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | manu. | 3238 | 0.29 | 95 min |
| #2 | Mephistoph3les | 2173 | 0.19 | 50 min |
| #3 | VinceTheJinx | 2059 | 0.15 | 63 min |
| #4 | ♿ Kantenbasis ♿ | 192 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Finn Germyass | 129 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wpatw | +1.49 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | manu. | +0.51 | 58 | 74 |
| #3 | VinceTheJinx | +0.29 | 66 | 67 |
| #4 | Mephistoph3les | -1.38 | 75 | 55 |
| #5 | ♿ Kantenbasis ♿ | -2.53 | 61 | 60 |





