










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2802 | 49% |
| Smokes | 1350 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 781 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 763 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $417,433 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squigd | 42% | 24 |
| #2 | P3tr | 37% | 41 |
| #3 | Moris | 35% | 17 |
| #4 | Mylan | 33% | 45 |
| #5 | xyee | 33% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | MeAdrian | 32% | 38 |
| #9 | lev | 30% | 56 |
| #10 | Cobwebby | 24% | 84 |
| #11 | Cozr | 22% | 92 |
| #12 | neffl | 19% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P3tr | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Mammers | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | neffl | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Cozr | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | xyee | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xyee | 161 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | Cozr | 118 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Squigd | 65 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | lev | 53 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Soux | 46 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squigd | +4.94 | 43 | 57 |
| #2 | Mammers | +3.60 | 67 | 27 |
| #3 | xyee | +3.44 | 51 | 50 |
| #4 | MeAdrian | +2.63 | 48 | 31 |
| #5 | Moris | +1.39 | 30 | 28 |





