










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 188 | 36% |
| Smokes | 6 | 1% |
| HE Grenades | 101 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 232 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $146,145 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xyee | 38% | 32 |
| #2 | P3tr | 37% | 19 |
| #3 | Fat | 25% | 16 |
| #4 | MeAdrian | 24% | 33 |
| #5 | lev | 23% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jash2020 | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Cozr | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | xyee | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | P3tr | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Fat | 2 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jash2020 | 269 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Cozr | 108 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | xyee | 107 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Cobwebby | 49 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | lev | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xyee | +5.31 | 56 | 54 |
| #2 | Fat | +4.62 | 34 | 27 |
| #3 | Moris | +3.96 | 42 | 28 |
| #4 | P3tr | +3.67 | 20 | 52 |
| #5 | MeAdrian | +2.49 | 49 | 29 |





