








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 167 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 271 | 17% |
| Smokes | 352 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 565 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 422 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $499,876 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P3tr | 43% | 7 |
| #2 | lev | 39% | 28 |
| #3 | Mylan | 35% | 31 |
| #4 | Jash2020 | 32% | 111 |
| #5 | Cobwebby | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mammers | 27% | 41 |
| #7 | xyee | 25% | 24 |
| #8 | Squigd | 21% | 14 |
| #9 | Cozr | 13% | 16 |
| #10 | neffl | 8% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jash2020 | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Mammers | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Mylan | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | neffl | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Squigd | 2 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jash2020 | 236 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | xyee | 64 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Squigd | 44 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mylan | 27 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | lev | 27 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mammers | +5.77 | 78 | 31 |
| #2 | Squigd | +4.18 | 50 | 57 |
| #3 | xyee | +2.21 | 43 | 46 |
| #4 | P3tr | +1.41 | 22 | 57 |
| #5 | lev | +0.35 | 27 | 30 |





