










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 299 | 17% |
| Smokes | 500 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 562 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 373 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $245,498 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 439 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moris | 38% | 8 |
| #2 | xyee | 34% | 44 |
| #3 | Fat | 33% | 12 |
| #4 | P3tr | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | Garry | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jash2020 | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | xyee | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Fat | 2 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | P3tr | 2 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | Moris | 2 | 0.0124 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jash2020 | 270 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | xyee | 154 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | lev | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | neffl | 27 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cobwebby | 26 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Garry | +16.29 | 90 | 55 |
| #2 | Mammers | +7.88 | 72 | 34 |
| #3 | Moris | +4.17 | 22 | 18 |
| #4 | xyee | +3.91 | 57 | 52 |
| #5 | Fat | +3.82 | 32 | 31 |





