








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1138 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1730 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1809 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2014 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $696,434 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prosperity | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | HOUND-_- | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | Jizmo | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Rap†or | ๑ﭥ | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | qqx | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jizmo | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Rap†or | ๑ﭥ | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | qqx | 46% | 13 |
| #6 | Spades | 42% | 131 |
| #7 | Woohoo | 40% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spades | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Rap†or | ๑ﭥ | 7 | 0.0150 |
| #3 | HOUND-_- | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Woohoo | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Jizmo | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spades | 179 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | HOUND-_- | 158 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jizmo | 117 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | Rap†or | ๑ﭥ | 112 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | Woohoo | 66 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prosperity | +5.15 | 92 | 56 |
| #2 | Rap†or | ๑ﭥ | +2.31 | 83 | 71 |
| #3 | HOUND-_- | +1.84 | 65 | 74 |
| #4 | Bloodyy | +1.04 | 69 | 48 |
| #5 | Woohoo | +0.12 | 71 | 51 |





