








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1062 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2786 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4446 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2243 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1986 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2193 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $650,799 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 864 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmeaL | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | booleaN | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | pete | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | Veorra ♡ | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Bloodyy | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bloodyy | 50% | 22 |
| #6 | Jizmo | 48% | 56 |
| #7 | Woohoo | 43% | 53 |
| #8 | Jesus31 | 41% | 22 |
| #9 | HOUND-_- | 40% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pete | 19 | 0.0233 |
| #2 | HOUND-_- | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Jizmo | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Bloodyy | 4 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | Woohoo | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jizmo | 271 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | HOUND-_- | 223 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | pete | 134 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | SmeaL | 99 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | booleaN | 76 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | booleaN | +1.36 | 68 | 59 |
| #2 | Woohoo | +1.30 | 66 | 48 |
| #3 | HOUND-_- | +0.79 | 66 | 71 |
| #4 | Rap†or | ๑ﭥ | +0.55 | 82 | 70 |
| #5 | Bloodyy | +0.52 | 75 | 35 |





