








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 570 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 165 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6615 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12358 | 34% |
| Smokes | 9849 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6141 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 7903 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,189,210 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darkness III | 60% | 103 |
| #2 | Leeu | 60% | 100 |
| #3 | Kassie | 60% | 276 |
| #4 | ☣C≡N☣ - 1m@ssa | 54% | 180 |
| #5 | PappaAppel | 54% | 219 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kassie | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ☣C≡N☣ - NIKKIE | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | PappaAppel | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ☣C≡N☣ - 1m@ssa | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | DieBomYsterKatrol | 6 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kassie | 681 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | Darkness III | 431 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #3 | ☣Cyanide☣SoLλce ZA™ | 417 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | PappaAppel | 417 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | ☣C≡N☣ - 1m@ssa | 314 | 0.09 | 11 min |





