








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1261 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 216 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 77,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18410 | 24% |
| Smokes | 20480 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 17545 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 20701 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,526,613 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Mr Miemz | 47% | 214 |
| #12 | ☣C≡N☣ - NIKKIE | 47% | 1561 |
| #13 | Tyson | 46% | 218 |
| #14 | PappaAppel | 46% | 280 |
| #15 | ☣Cyanide☣Nadal | 44% | 251 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣C≡N☣ - NIKKIE | 47 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Kassie | 18 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | PappaAppel | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | KillerDelta_Daddy_want_my_Nani | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Darkness III | 7 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣C≡N☣ - NIKKIE | 1781 | 0.06 | 41 min |
| #2 | Darkness III | 952 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #3 | Tyson | 815 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #4 | Kassie | 809 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #5 | ☣C≡N☣ - 1m@ssa | 486 | 0.08 | 15 min |





