








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 907 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 529 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,087 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9384 | 29% |
| Smokes | 9883 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6684 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6136 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,263,358 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 554 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyson | 60% | 276 |
| #2 | Leeu | 59% | 194 |
| #3 | ☣C≡N☣ - 1m@ssa | 58% | 262 |
| #4 | Darkness III | 56% | 217 |
| #5 | PappaAppel | 56% | 362 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DieBomYsterKatrol | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | PappaAppel | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Darkness III | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Leeu | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | ☣C≡N☣ - 1m@ssa | 5 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyson | 419 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | PappaAppel | 202 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | DieBomYsterKatrol | 195 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | ☣Cyanide☣SoLλce ZA™ | 185 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Darkness III | 173 | 0.08 | 4 min |





