








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 922 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1102 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 283 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6517 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6827 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 10112 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 14984 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,964,243 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 405 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Mr Miemz | 48% | 135 |
| #11 | KillerDelta_Daddy_want_my_Nani | 47% | 102 |
| #12 | Tyson | 47% | 166 |
| #13 | ☣Cyanide☣SoLλce ZA™ | 47% | 1561 |
| #14 | ☣Cyanide☣Nadal | 44% | 241 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣Cyanide☣SoLλce ZA™ | 22 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | KillerDelta_Daddy_want_my_Nani | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | ZEUS | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ☣C≡N☣ - 1m@ssa | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Darkness III | 6 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣Cyanide☣SoLλce ZA™ | 3290 | 0.10 | 81 min |
| #2 | Darkness III | 756 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #3 | Tyson | 627 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #4 | Kassie | 456 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #5 | ☣C≡N☣ - 1m@ssa | 408 | 0.07 | 13 min |





