








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,728 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3088 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2059 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1002 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1579 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $338,254 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 784 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | black335i | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | boss | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Finite3 | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | Springgy | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Jordan | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Springgy | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Jordan | 56% | 16 |
| #6 | Zesty | 45% | 29 |
| #7 | Throat GOAT | 39% | 36 |
| #8 | Jay | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zesty | 10 | 0.0164 |
| #2 | Throat GOAT | 9 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | Jay | 3 | 0.0132 |
| #4 | Jordan | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | boss | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordan | 188 | 0.69 | 5 min |
| #2 | Zesty | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | boss | 44 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Springgy | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Finite3 | 42 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Springgy | +2.12 | 87 | 51 |
| #2 | Zesty | +2.01 | 83 | 41 |
| #3 | Brantonn | +1.14 | 58 | 63 |
| #4 | Jay | +1.09 | 77 | 27 |
| #5 | boss | +0.99 | 83 | 50 |





