








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1921 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,239 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1217 | 23% |
| Smokes | 750 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1953 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1319 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $589,948 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigboye | 64% | 55 |
| #2 | Atlas | 55% | 113 |
| #3 | Clarence | 52% | 66 |
| #4 | glu3 ♿ | 51% | 96 |
| #5 | Robaj | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Atlas | 55% | 113 |
| #3 | Clarence | 52% | 66 |
| #4 | glu3 ♿ | 51% | 96 |
| #5 | Robaj | 50% | 14 |
| #6 | Captain Average | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clarence | 12 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | bigboye | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Robaj | 4 | 0.0127 |
| #4 | Atlas | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | glu3 ♿ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atlas | 507 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | Clarence | 238 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | glu3 ♿ | 214 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | bigboye | 136 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Robaj | 70 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atlas | +1.83 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | glu3 ♿ | +1.00 | 83 | 56 |
| #3 | bigboye | +0.01 | 65 | 53 |
| #4 | Clarence | -0.30 | 72 | 41 |
| #5 | Hokster4 | -0.36 | 57 | 52 |





