








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 801 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 381 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4736 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,763 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4482 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4001 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2838 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3442 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,189,996 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 381 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sebber | 51% | 139 |
| #5 | The Ghost of Keurig | 51% | 300 |
| #6 | mako_ | 50% | 40 |
| #7 | yes | 46% | 57 |
| #8 | Captain Daddy | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Ghost of Keurig | 19 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | yes | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Captain Daddy | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | mako_ | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | sebber | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Ghost of Keurig | 1034 | 0.17 | 27 min |
| #2 | sebber | 417 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | yes | 216 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | groezy | 186 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Captain Daddy | 174 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ajax | +1.69 | 71 | 66 |
| #2 | mako_ | +0.92 | 66 | 59 |
| #3 | sebber | +0.81 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | The Ghost of Keurig | -0.38 | 62 | 61 |
| #5 | yes | -0.89 | 56 | 52 |





