








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3599 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2527 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2594 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2663 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2409 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $867,175 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sebber | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | yes | 56% | 150 |
| #3 | The Ghost of Keurig | 56% | 190 |
| #4 | r0b07 | 53% | 93 |
| #5 | ajax | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sebber | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | yes | 56% | 150 |
| #3 | The Ghost of Keurig | 56% | 190 |
| #4 | r0b07 | 53% | 93 |
| #5 | ajax | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Ghost of Keurig | 16 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | yes | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | r0b07 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | ajax | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | sebber | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Ghost of Keurig | 608 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | yes | 458 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | ajax | 112 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | sebber | 82 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | r0b07 | 49 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sebber | +2.17 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | mako_ | +1.93 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | yes | +0.16 | 58 | 58 |
| #4 | ajax | +0.13 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | The Ghost of Keurig | -0.94 | 61 | 57 |





