








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3288 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,908 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2735 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1655 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2452 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2066 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $815,611 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mako_ | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Captain Daddy | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | yes | 53% | 51 |
| #4 | ajax | 51% | 139 |
| #5 | Shibuh | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Shibuh | 48% | 27 |
| #6 | groezy | 48% | 46 |
| #7 | The Ghost of Keurig | 47% | 173 |
| #8 | p4n!c | 38% | 39 |
| #9 | r0b07 | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Ghost of Keurig | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ajax | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | yes | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | mako_ | 4 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | Captain Daddy | 3 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Ghost of Keurig | 566 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | ajax | 373 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | yes | 179 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | groezy | 130 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | p4n!c | 100 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mako_ | +1.60 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | ajax | +1.44 | 66 | 65 |
| #3 | sebber | +1.29 | 75 | 62 |
| #4 | yes | +0.18 | 58 | 54 |
| #5 | Captain Daddy | -1.00 | 59 | 57 |





