








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 900 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 406 matches | ||
| Faceit | 115 matches | ||
| Wingman | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7489 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4257 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 8921 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2938 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,217,551 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 768 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mako_ | 56% | 150 |
| #2 | sebber | 53% | 51 |
| #3 | t0ph | 52% | 282 |
| #4 | Elo Thief | 52% | 84 |
| #5 | blksnta | 50% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | blksnta | 50% | 147 |
| #6 | AidenK | 48% | 126 |
| #7 | The Ghost of Keurig | 47% | 221 |
| #8 | ajax | 46% | 57 |
| #9 | Noot_tv | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t0ph | 18 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | mako_ | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | The Ghost of Keurig | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | blksnta | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | AidenK | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t0ph | 1456 | 0.25 | 39 min |
| #2 | The Ghost of Keurig | 625 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #3 | blksnta | 490 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | AidenK | 340 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | mako_ | 297 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mako_ | +2.32 | 76 | 59 |
| #2 | Elo Thief | +1.52 | 75 | 54 |
| #3 | AidenK | +1.40 | 74 | 63 |
| #4 | sebber | +1.31 | 72 | 65 |
| #5 | t0ph | +0.94 | 57 | 68 |





