








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 529 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 257 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3633 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,024 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3084 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2504 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3161 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2275 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,278,166 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alyex | 55% | 97 |
| #2 | BlueFox73 | 49% | 108 |
| #3 | s neuil :o | 48% | 274 |
| #4 | Jean-Tasse Duchite | 47% | 165 |
| #5 | C'est quoi ce poulet | 46% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C'est quoi ce poulet | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | BlueFox73 | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | s neuil :o | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Jean-Tasse Duchite | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Alyex | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s neuil :o | 961 | 0.16 | 26 min |
| #2 | C'est quoi ce poulet | 686 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | Jean-Tasse Duchite | 320 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Alyex | 298 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | BlueFox73 | 97 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alyex | +7.00 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | C'est quoi ce poulet | +1.44 | 82 | 59 |
| #3 | Côte de boeuf | +0.24 | 68 | 61 |
| #4 | s neuil :o | +0.00 | 74 | 66 |
| #5 | Jean-Tasse Duchite | -1.33 | 66 | 54 |





