








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1007 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 277 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3852 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2828 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3759 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2777 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,569,253 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alyex | 54% | 78 |
| #2 | s neuil :o | 50% | 285 |
| #3 | BlueFox73 | 47% | 70 |
| #4 | Côte de boeuf | 46% | 213 |
| #5 | Jean-Tasse Duchite | 41% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Côte de boeuf | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | s neuil :o | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | BlueFox73 | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Jean-Tasse Duchite | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Alyex | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s neuil :o | 996 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #2 | Côte de boeuf | 609 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Alyex | 262 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | Jean-Tasse Duchite | 182 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Flammenküche | 82 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alyex | +5.95 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | C'est quoi ce poulet | +0.98 | 80 | 59 |
| #3 | Côte de boeuf | +0.09 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | s neuil :o | -0.34 | 74 | 66 |
| #5 | Jean-Tasse Duchite | -1.58 | 66 | 54 |





