








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4758 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2119 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1210 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2572 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2183 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $453,918 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WOMBATS | 66% | 47 |
| #2 | ++EdijsYo++ | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | mitinaax) | 53% | 270 |
| #4 | Bananaboy | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | whoisthis? | 51% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mitinaax) | 78 | 0.0143 |
| #2 | TIP TOP | 26 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | whoisthis? | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | ++EdijsYo++ | 7 | 0.0165 |
| #5 | Bananaboy | 6 | 0.0144 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brens | +5.28 | 90 | 60 |
| #2 | whoisthis? | +1.94 | 78 | 61 |
| #3 | WOMBATS | +0.85 | 77 | 42 |
| #4 | mitinaax) | +0.55 | 87 | 53 |
| #5 | TIP TOP | -0.26 | 71 | 66 |





