








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




88 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1447 | 30% |
| Smokes | 892 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 856 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1606 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $746,339 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shawn D. Tugger | 54% | 41 |
| #2 | Kabel | 51% | 47 |
| #3 | sleep | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | Midnight | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | Flop <3 | 37% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Flop <3 | 37% | 52 |
| #6 | L | 36% | 14 |
| #7 | stud | 35% | 20 |
| #8 | shace | 34% | 29 |
| #9 | Manpoints69 | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flop <3 | 30 | 0.0296 |
| #2 | Kabel | 22 | 0.0240 |
| #3 | shace | 9 | 0.0156 |
| #4 | stud | 8 | 0.0202 |
| #5 | Manpoints69 | 6 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flop <3 | 229 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | Kabel | 117 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Shawn D. Tugger | 105 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Midnight | 74 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #5 | Manpoints69 | 58 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shace | +4.75 | 68 | 15 |
| #2 | Flop <3 | +2.31 | 73 | 47 |
| #3 | Kabel | +2.15 | 65 | 50 |
| #4 | stud | +0.93 | 56 | 26 |
| #5 | Shawn D. Tugger | +0.93 | 45 | 25 |





