








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




88 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1447 | 30% |
| Smokes | 892 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 856 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1606 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $746,339 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goofball | 54% | 41 |
| #2 | Faker | 51% | 47 |
| #3 | s0up | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | Midnight | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | !Flop | 37% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | !Flop | 37% | 52 |
| #6 | leafy | 36% | 14 |
| #7 | stud | 35% | 20 |
| #8 | Shace | 34% | 29 |
| #9 | Manpoints69 | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !Flop | 30 | 0.0296 |
| #2 | Faker | 22 | 0.0240 |
| #3 | Shace | 9 | 0.0156 |
| #4 | stud | 8 | 0.0202 |
| #5 | Manpoints69 | 6 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !Flop | 229 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | Faker | 117 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Goofball | 105 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Midnight | 74 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #5 | Manpoints69 | 58 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shace | +4.75 | 75 | 19 |
| #2 | !Flop | +2.31 | 77 | 50 |
| #3 | Faker | +2.15 | 71 | 54 |
| #4 | stud | +0.93 | 61 | 31 |
| #5 | Goofball | +0.93 | 48 | 28 |





