








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,090 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3664 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3328 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4035 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3063 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $327,945 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☬Gioo | 81% | 21 |
| #2 | (CAO)JuankOMG | 79% | 47 |
| #3 | Alaric Dell ☬ | 77% | 35 |
| #4 | UnTalKlaus ☬ | 76% | 17 |
| #5 | AR'kinG♛ | 76% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | ASLAK ⭕⃤ | 68% | 19 |
| #13 | CRIMZONT | 66% | 29 |
| #14 | derki | 63% | 38 |
| #15 | ☭ Sperm1 | 61% | 133 |
| #16 | TLC | ZeroX | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☭ Sperm1 | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | AR'kinG♛ | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | (CAO)JuankOMG | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Zenith ☬ | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | ☬ TRY-HARD ☬--> | 3 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AR'kinG♛ | 326 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | (CAO)JuankOMG | 280 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #3 | ☭ Sperm1 | 144 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Alaric Dell ☬ | 134 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | ~sebastian ֎ | 118 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sky ☬ | +4.69 | 85 | 67 |
| #2 | ☬Gioo | +4.61 | 69 | 63 |
| #3 | UnTalKlaus ☬ | +4.38 | 79 | 56 |
| #4 | ☬ TRY-HARD ☬--> | +3.40 | 60 | 54 |
| #5 | Alaric Dell ☬ | +2.57 | 75 | 81 |





