








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,367 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1388 | 41% |
| Smokes | 606 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 971 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 402 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $334,536 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaze | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | VAC Calino | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | SEXY BORIS | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | Ambition | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | ☆ Marlio | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ☆ Marlio | 50% | 28 |
| #6 | Real Mr waffles | 49% | 83 |
| #7 | Muffen | 48% | 23 |
| #8 | CrazyLegs | 39% | 18 |
| #9 | izid00d | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Real Mr waffles | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Muffen | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | izid00d | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | ☆ Marlio | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | CrazyLegs | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muffen | 113 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | izid00d | 110 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | ☆ Marlio | 104 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Real Mr waffles | 76 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ambition | 67 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Real Mr waffles | +5.29 | 94 | 47 |
| #2 | Kaze | +3.25 | 58 | 72 |
| #3 | Muffen | +1.62 | 76 | 77 |
| #4 | Ambition | +0.37 | 56 | 64 |
| #5 | CrazyLegs | -0.77 | 44 | 56 |





