








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,108 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3671 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5579 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3629 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3229 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,417,942 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 523 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baxeri | 49% | 194 |
| #2 | -rep toxic | 48% | 29 |
| #3 | Mökä | 48% | 46 |
| #4 | Demento | 47% | 212 |
| #5 | Seppo | 47% | 255 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mökä | 48% | 46 |
| #4 | Demento | 47% | 212 |
| #5 | Seppo | 47% | 255 |
| #6 | EpHiXa | 47% | 448 |
| #7 | HorkkaMörkö | 43% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seppo | 12 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Demento | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | EpHiXa | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | HorkkaMörkö | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Baxeri | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seppo | 936 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #2 | Baxeri | 665 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | EpHiXa | 500 | 0.05 | 13 min |
| #4 | Demento | 389 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | Mökä | 220 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EpHiXa | +2.57 | 77 | 59 |
| #2 | -rep toxic | +2.46 | 83 | 45 |
| #3 | Baxeri | +1.42 | 64 | 65 |
| #4 | Demento | -0.29 | 55 | 61 |
| #5 | < blank > | -0.90 | 54 | 62 |





