








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2094 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2046 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2952 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2230 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2310 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $646,342 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mökä | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | EpHiXa | 48% | 220 |
| #5 | < blank > | 47% | 212 |
| #6 | Seppo | 45% | 128 |
| #7 | HorkkaMörkö | 43% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EpHiXa | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | < blank > | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Seppo | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | HorkkaMörkö | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Baxeri | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seppo | 472 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | < blank > | 351 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | EpHiXa | 243 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | Baxeri | 222 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | HorkkaMörkö | 122 | 0.04 | 3 min |





