








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 491 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2507 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3511 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2501 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2875 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2250 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $682,815 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThebT29 | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Seppo | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | EpHiXa | 54% | 52 |
| #4 | -rep toxic | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | ✞JONDE✞ | 51% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | -rep toxic | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | ✞JONDE✞ | 51% | 67 |
| #6 | Demento | 50% | 18 |
| #7 | < blank > | 48% | 46 |
| #8 | Baxeri | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✞JONDE✞ | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | < blank > | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | -rep toxic | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ThebT29 | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✞JONDE✞ | 111 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | < blank > | 105 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | -rep toxic | 105 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Seppo | 88 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | ThebT29 | 84 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EpHiXa | +3.19 | 77 | 54 |
| #2 | -rep toxic | +2.54 | 83 | 46 |
| #3 | Demento | +0.65 | 63 | 56 |
| #4 | ThebT29 | +0.57 | 50 | 69 |
| #5 | Baxeri | -0.18 | 59 | 55 |





