








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2161 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,314 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3474 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3869 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4081 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2890 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $571,349 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ry0ma | 53% | 68 |
| #2 | Demento | 51% | 76 |
| #3 | EpHiXa | 51% | 225 |
| #4 | Seppo | 50% | 72 |
| #5 | < blank > | 49% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | EpHiXa | 51% | 225 |
| #4 | Seppo | 50% | 72 |
| #5 | < blank > | 49% | 194 |
| #6 | HorkkaMörkö | 47% | 96 |
| #7 | Mökä | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Demento | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Seppo | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | HorkkaMörkö | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Ry0ma | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | 383 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Ry0ma | 293 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | Seppo | 266 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | EpHiXa | 237 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Demento | 150 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EpHiXa | +2.71 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | Baxeri | +1.16 | 62 | 65 |
| #3 | Ry0ma | +0.69 | 53 | 81 |
| #4 | Demento | -0.93 | 50 | 62 |
| #5 | < blank > | -1.12 | 56 | 60 |





