










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
348 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,748 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 204 | 12% |
| Smokes | 648 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 429 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 467 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $297,470 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VareniŠāvēji MickeyM | 41% | 41 |
| #2 | ProGuard2 | 35% | 51 |
| #3 | Para EU | 35% | 55 |
| #4 | QuinnDecim | 31% | 39 |
| #5 | ultimate_destroyer | 22% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Para EU | 35% | 55 |
| #4 | QuinnDecim | 31% | 39 |
| #5 | ultimate_destroyer | 22% | 23 |
| #6 | Barbzzzzz | 20% | 5 |
| #7 | Dzenis3000 | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProGuard2 | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | QuinnDecim | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Para EU | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProGuard2 | 125 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Para EU | 95 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | ultimate_destroyer | 37 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | VareniŠāvēji MickeyM | 32 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | QuinnDecim | 29 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Para EU | +3.69 | 66 | 66 |
| #2 | ProGuard2 | +2.76 | 78 | 68 |
| #3 | VareniŠāvēji MickeyM | -3.50 | 36 | 59 |
| #4 | Tālivaldis | -3.60 | 25 | 50 |
| #5 | QuinnDecim | -3.60 | 29 | 31 |





